It is a nightmare of every middle-class guy
to remain normal throughout his life. You know what’s ahead of you already
because there is a roadmap handed over to you the moment you finish your
schooling. You cannot revolt against your parents because they have loved you from
the day you were born and they will never even dream of forsaking you into this
cruel world. They have fed you with “Expert Level” culture and values which can
never be formatted from your soul. Your sibling will be your partner-in-crime
for most of your crazy adventures and even withhold from partaking in some of
them.
It’s when you hit puberty and certain
hormones in your body begin to screw your system. That’s ‘Phase 1’ of entering WTF.
You start feeling the cactus in your crotch, butterflies in your stomach and many
other things in many other places. You just don’t share it all. Obviously,
yours is a typically orthodox and reserved family and they don’t talk about sex
with children. They tend to keep you away from watching James Bond movies and
reading Shades of Grey. Depriving a teenager from what’s to be told is what
triggers the curiosity even more. Almost every boy in his school days has had a
crush on his female teacher and has fantasized about her. That’s when the co-ed
schools are supposed to rescue you. But instead, what they do is fast forward
the “Life Process” part in the biology class leaving us wondering what the hell
is wrong with our body. Of course, they did pass us in that particular subject
even if we gave wrong answers. They were too shy to openly explain the right
answers to us then. Most of the times they felt that we were doing this on
purpose, but one cannot blame the school if the entire education system is
flawed.
Growing older and away from friends has its
own merits and demerits. You get rid of friends you never wanted to be with and
on the flipside; you get away from your best friends and your childhood crush
to whom you never expressed your love (Middle-Class Values – 1, Friendship – 0).
You tried not to get very emotional and become a cry baby. Instead, you take a
pen and start writing, pick a brush and start painting, choose a genre and
start singing or playing an instrument. That’s ‘Level 2’ of adapting to WTF
days. You don’t want to live like a child anymore and begin to think
philosophically of what you want to do with your life. You crave for freedom
and desire for love. This; to any human being at that particular age would seem
perfectly normal. But, for a middle-class human being, your career journey has
already been chalked out based on the assumption that you are good at something
which has academic significance and has nothing to do with what you like. For
instance, you have scored 100 out of 100 in a language subject, but failed
terribly in physics. It is assumed that you will take up a career in fine arts
or literature. “Hobbies” are not part of your career “was” the middle-class
ideology then. ‘They just make you feel good;
but they don’t feed you good enough’, was the inference. And, they were
right then. A postmaster was paid better than a poet and that was the kind of
job-security they expected us to have – a mediocre government job which you despise,
chosen over your dream of becoming an artist.
That’s when you enter ‘Phase 3’ of The WTF
Revolution. You want to live your life your way and you don’t want anyone to
tell you what to do. You remotely hope that your parents will support you and
out of nowhere, they somehow do – either willingly or unwillingly, they anyway
support your choice and give you a statutory warning that, the doors to the
mediocre jobs will be open for a limited period and whatever we do with our
career, they will have the ‘Plan B’ ready. You somehow manage to excel in your
passion and find a profession that appreciates it too. The next task is to
convince your parents about how much you like working there even though they’re
paying less. You begin to feel that the company loves what you do and they will
consider you as the future asset (and
they keep the ‘ET’ in ASSET silent and
alienate you after a while). Because you have been a very good boy from
your childhood with all those middle-class values such as honesty, integrity,
discipline, self-respect, kindness, candour, everything begins to hinder your
growth in that company (Middle-Class Values – 2, Career – 0). You try not to
compromise with the values, but for the sake of feeding yourself and your ego,
you sell your soul to The Corporate Satan (and
don’t go by the initials; it’s just a coincidence). You feel incapable of
handling the atrocities and politics that surround you and feel hostile with lumberjacks
at every corner in every department who’s trying to cut you down. Finally, when
you cannot take it anymore, you simply quit. You are the kind of person who’s
not taught how to fight because you haven’t ever been in one. You are only
taught that, “You are a middle-class person and you are not supposed to get
into any kind of conflicts. If you’re being bullied, get out of there. They
won’t bully you if you are not there. If your friend is being bullied, don’t
try to be a hero. You’ll get your ass kicked instead. Ultimately, fighting is
bad. And you’re a good boy, right?” (Middle-Class Values – 3, Courage – 0).
With such a defunct self when ‘Phase 4’ of The
WTF Paralysis begins, you fall in love. You have no idea what to do with your
future, and there she is – waiting to destroy you, waiting to put your pieces
back together, waiting to annihilate you, waiting to complete you, waiting to
confuse the hell out of you. You fall in love with a girl who shares the same
chaos of life. You fall in love with a girl who has the same scars as you do.
You fall in love with another middle-class girl. The greatest of all apocalypses
waiting to happen is just one look and three words away from each other. You
see her and think of a storm in the ocean, the most sensational symphony, the
most mesmerizing beauty of nature, and the most treacherous peaks of The
Himalayas. You see a reflection of yourself quivering in the mirror. That’s not
what our parents taught us? That’s totally insane, and ridiculous. We are
supposed to guard the stagnant water in the gutters; sing the same song every
day; never look at the inauspicious rainbow; always travel on safe roads; never
take risks; because we are middle-class people and cannot afford to be audacious
with our lives (Middle-Class Values – 4, Love – 0).
The phases of WTF will go on as long as we
put a leash on it. A friend of mine rightly said, “If the parents have given
birth to us, doesn’t mean that they have the right to control our life. They
are entitled to all the love and respect which we will give without asking.
But, if they try to enforce their decisions on us, we won’t take it.” You are
free to treat them as Gods, but you are also free to consider them as the
Devil, if they try to control you. It is entirely at your discretion to give
them a place in your life as they have given to you in theirs. Though they
might have been harsh, stubborn, totally mindless at sometimes, in the end, the
values that your parents have taught you will hit them like a boomerang.
In their old age, they’ll let you be; they
will let you accomplish everything that you ever wanted; they will unleash you
and set you free because they will know what you will become if you are
controlled. They will desire the same freedom from you after their retirement.
They would not want to sit at home and chant mantras of salvation. They would
want to live their life free from everyone. No more family functions; no more fighting
with their spouses (if they are alive); no more festival food (courtesy:
diabetes and hypertension) and no more people around (because they often piss
you off). (Middle-Class Values – 5, Life – 0).
Finally, all they will be left is with
themselves pondering over their middle-class values and how can they be revised
and passed on to the future generation. But, guess what! The future generation
needs to settle some scores. We love ourselves as much as we love our family.
We need to break the stereotype of the middle-class life. And it cannot be done
by being normal. Loving a person from another caste or another state doesn’t
make you a heretic. Taking up an unusual job that you love, doesn’t make you
less respectable. Getting into fights and beating up (not to death) someone who
deserves it, doesn’t make you a felon. Parents have their opinions about being
good-cultured and we have our own definition. It doesn’t mean we have to part
our ways. It only means either of us has to be reasonable enough to coexist and
to ceasefire.
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