Why is goodbye so hard to say? We had been friends from long time and there was nothing romantic between us. We both shared similar ideas and thoughts, and so were great friends. We were virtually in touch and life was getting greener every time we had a conversation on some or the other useful issues! (Sometimes even on useless topics like; aur kya haal hai???) For some days, it was a transition period as we got to know each other’s areas of interests and disinterests too. I loved writing and she loved reading; I loved listening and she loved talking; I loved everything about her and she???? “I still have no idea” [don’t ask me to GET IDEA please]!
For some reasons, I knew that I still wasn’t the right person with whom she could have shared all her thoughts, feelings, secrets for sure! I never expected to know each and everything about her either, and I was happy with the degree of involvement we had in each other’s lives. After few weeks, after few months, when I began blogging and writing poems on an active mode, I was in a position to grab her attention and also impress her to some level where she had to share few of her secrets (and I’d not let others know it) that, once had killed her almost! It was just an outline that she showed me as a hint, not to try and understand her deeper; and I never did too! I was just being a friend as usual and wanted to explore more topics on which I could write. We had no problems finding the topics, but when some of the points I asked, it really took her to the past and that was where I got stumped! My geography and my demography was a misfortunate coincidence and that took her back in time when she had a heart-break!
I never had any intentions to refresh the wounds of her past and never would I like to do it! Sometimes, we just encounter situations where we meet someone who is a replica of all your bad experiences in life and never you’d like to go through it again. I was all under such a full solar eclipse where, I was the person who replicated her past! I never knew what happened with her and never did she tell me. I didn’t intend to know because it was me, who reminded her of her horrific past and she knew that I was at no fault. The fear of losing another person haunted her thoughts and that was when she said me, “it was really very nice knowing you Ameet! I hope you will succeed in all your other book releases & I don’t know if I’d be part of your life anymore!” I was flabbergasted and numb! I am in no condition to transcript the whole conversation, but few things I’ve made it clear to her; “I’ve always seen you as a very good friend of mine and there have been no second thoughts about you at all; I won’t ever remind you of your past again; and dare you take me off from your friend’s list”
She was too skeptic of meeting me again online and I was too much hurt by what she was doing; not to me, but herself! I feel scared for her actions while she’s alone and especially after the visual I saw! It may not be easy to say, “It’s over! Goodbye friend” to someone you’ve known, not for long, but someone you’ve known for few days; and there was a sense of positivity around us when we came “GREEN” on the social site. I had that infinite smile wearing even while I was alone, in the dark room while the power wasn’t there and the battery was in the critical mode, but while she uttered the “goodbye” word, I felt like a scorpion, being stung by its own poison! It was me who was losing and it was all me who was the reason behind it, just because I was her melancholic reflection! The night was all shining with the North Star in its pole position, but I stayed deserted and deprived of that infinite amity that we had all these days, I stay orphaned of all the emotions I did share, I stay dead in the moments that we lived, and most of all, I stay envied, of not having her in my life anymore! I Miss You my friend, I hope you read this and come back soon. Never wanted to say ‘goodbye’, because life is yet to be lived and journey has just begun…