Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Social friends, True friendships: Unscrambling Relations
About 730 friends on facebook, 500+ connections on LinkedIn, and just a beginner on Twitter, I have got into something known as, “Social Saturation”. I don’t feel bad if anyone unfriends me; I don’t care if anyone likes my status or comments on my photos; I don’t mind accepting any strangers friend request; and most of all, I’ve lost the dots that connect me with my true friends. That brings me to the basic question: Who are my true friends?
True friends are not those whom I keep in touch always; with whom I want to be in contact with; whom I like just because they have good connections and good looks. Almost all are good friends and that is why they still have me active in their contact list. The real problem lies with me and this is a hard confession to make. May be I am not able to be a good friend to everybody and that is why I feel cursed and deprived of them. A managerial thought always comes to my mind that, ‘you can’t keep everyone happy all the time’ and this is what makes me think I am bad in managing relations. Sometimes just a simple ‘hi’ would make your friend smile, and expecting a ‘hello’ isn’t a bad thing either. It’s been a loner’s year from the day I’ve left MICA and was hunting for jobs. Friends, have been my life and I’ve fought with my family sometimes, just to be with them. I miss talking face-to-face with my friends.
Social networking sites might have brought in a revolution by bringing together some lost friendships, and creating new ones, but the bottomline is; ‘It’s virtual!” The feeling of looking at each others’ funny faces and rolling on floor laughing is nothing equal to ‘lol’ or ‘rofl’. What differentiates today’s friendship from yesteryears is, we ‘add’ more friends, and ‘make’ fewer friends. Being in the field of advertising, it has become a habit to talk in headlines and body copy, and expect people to understand everything I say. On the flipside, I am trying hard to understand what friendship actually means. Does it mean we need to meet and stay in touch regularly? Does it mean we need to share equal social standards? Does it mean we just need to remember each other? Does it mean we should only talk when it’s necessary? (Otherwise, just Whatsapp) All that I have learnt that friendship is “Everything” without ego in between. All we have to do is respect the time and space. When time comes, the space will gradually fade away, but when we try to fill the space with forceful friendship, all we get is disappointment and sarcasm aplenty.
Realizing the mistakes I’ve done, all that I want to do is correct them and bring back the lost charm of real friendship. This blog is a public apology to all my friends to whom I’ve failed. An admission of guilt for being over-enthusiastic to meet all those who were busy tied up in work. A request for forgiveness to my emotionally foolish expressions brought out in the open and in particular, the nostalgia. Most of this might go unnoticed, but what I really want everyone to know is, I still yearn for a day out with friends. A day to hangout; a day where I can take my camera out and be paparazzi again; a day where we’re all just friends sharing stupid jokes and spreading laughter sans the business talks about who’s more successful. Some of us were friends since we didn’t even wear our underwear. So, there would be better things to talk than changing briefs of the client, the artworks that didn’t see the light of the day or the scribbles that nobody understood. All that I would wish to see is me and my friends spending time with each other – the irreversible sands of time.