Saturday, April 6, 2013

A speck of dust: That’s what you are

Mumbai is an ocean. And I am once again focussing on the same topic. It’s not that I have a huge grudge against this place, and especially against those living here. The reason I thought of writing down this piece of my dusty feeling was to get out of my closet and speak. From past one month, I was thinking of penning down all my frustrations onto a word doc and put it on my blog, but work had been on top of my priority list, but now I’ve got some time and here it is. I’ve begun to share.
Lots of things are happening since I’ve come to this place. First things first; I am badly missing home, homemade food, and being at home. To some extent, I’ve lost weight and my jeans are getting wrinkled because of the extra holes that I’ve punched in my belt; but that’s immaterial. The weekdays pass normally and the only time that sucks is in the weekend. You either spend the whole day sleeping, or washing your clothes in a 6X8 bathroom. And when you have just one Sunday to call as your weekend, in a place like Mumbai, it’s worse than a Monday. There were times when I felt like running away from this place to some calm and solitary place, but coming here was my decision and I didn’t wanted to deviate any further. I’ve been successful to a very small extent in being a “kameena” as my friend had advised me to be, but I am still trying hard to be better. There’s always this argument everyday with my friend on waking up early and going to work. I am not sure if I am fortunately or unfortunately single, but my committed friend always sleeps at 2 or 3 midnight after a long chat with his beloved. I get to sleep peacefully and see the best dreams and hence wake up early on time, but he struggles to open his eyes at 7:30 in the morning. Sometimes I smirk at him and he understands it well.
Apart from the daily jobs at work, there is hardly anything creative to do (except hogging food in different restaurants). Half of my career will cave in just three places;, and It has become my ritual that I daily “have to” go through all these sites or else I’ll transform into an ape. Nevertheless, life has been busy these days doing more of ‘tactical ads’ (I ended up calling it as testicle ads) and it has become a challenge to make them look ‘creative’. The best lines always get rejected and the clients themselves turn out to be the most talented and creative writers we’ve ever met. The learning is massive and the time to catch up with this pace is freaking very less. Sometime you pick up very soon and get adjusted with the flow, but it takes time only when you don’t want to give up your “honesty and principles” and stuff like that, you tend to fall behind. What I’ve learnt is, the only thing that you need to hold close to yourself in a place like this is, your wallet, mobile phone and your brains. Everything else will fall in its place.
All that I am now is nothing less than a speck of dust in this deserted city. If I say I miss my old friends, I want to go back to my home I am just being overtly nostalgic. Life can be much better if I start making a living out of it; and not just by working round the clock and not feeling happy about it, but rather feeling happy and working round the clock. If I had the luxury of talking with time, I’d ask it, not to pause or fast forward or go backwards, but I’d ask time to make every second of my life count. I’d not want to fail myself, but being a speck of dust in my friends’ lives, is definitely what scares me the most. It doesn’t matter if I am a good friend or a best friend, or just a friend; when it is a weekday, I am living in an ivory tower at work, and the weekend I am out of my own world. Sounds like I give a lot of damn about what people think about me. Reality is, I just want to spend some good time being around with each and everyone, and make some good use of my rusty camera.

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