1964
Next morning when he got up, he was
in Berlin. This time, he was not imprisoned nor was he in shaggy, rugged clothes.
Amar wore a chocolate brown flannel blazer, beige scarf and he had notepad and
a pen in his hand. He was sitting on a window seat of a van driven by his
father. Amar could recognise his father and was in an ecstatic moment.
“Appa.....” he screamed and hugged
him. His father suddenly stopped the van and looked at Amar furiously.
“Are you insane?” he roared. “You
could have killed us both”
“I am sorry paa” Amar apologized and
turned his gaze down at his notepad. He didn’t understood what he’d written. He
was surprisingly able to read, but the words didn’t make any sense to him. They
just looked like random letters and numbers. He quickly shifted his focus on
the nature outside and found the view completely mesmerizing. He’d never seen
such beautiful sceneries back home and this was the most wonderful moment of
his life.
“Where are we going Paa?” Amar
started the conversation with his father. The tyres screeched again.
“Get out” his father said. “Take a
look in the back of the van, and come back in”
It was Amar’s mother. Her body was
being taken for funeral and Amar realized that he was sitting in the hearse,
driven by his father.
Amar dropped his notepad on the
ground and stood like a statue.
“Oh boy!” His father realized Amar’s
moment of the frozen time travel and steps out of the van.
It was during the time when his
mother was pregnant and his father stayed away, she developed an acute fear of
the future where her child would live without the shadow of its parents. She
dug deep in the books of science, studied astrophysics and developed mad
theories of time travel which seemed nothing less than the fictional Time Machine by H.G. Wells.
“She’s gone schizophrenic” doctors
declared. That was when the father abandoned her and moved to Berlin. He failed
to convince her that he would provide a safe future to his family because she
was already possessed with the idea of untimely loss in the uncertain future.
Amar was born with the poisonous idea
of undoing the past and foreseeing the future; and this was his gift. All he
needed was a cerebral shock and he had the ability to go back in time and
switch events.
Amar was still standing behind the
van. By the time his father reached, he was back in his house, sleeping in his
mother’s arms. He never knew how his mother died, and when she died. He still
had no control over his mind to make it literate enough.
1945
While he sobbed over the
vulnerability of the moment, Amar found out a solution. He took a deep breath
again, closed his eyes and went into a state of trance. When he opened his
eyes, he was back in the prison, this time as a policeman. He controlled the
time and this was not 1972. It was 1955 and Amar was 20. He managed to escape
the prison and take a nice look at the surroundings. He realized he was in
Berlin. The season was rainy and it was not war-time. He stole a notepad and a
pen from a soldier’s pocket and moved out of town hitchhiking a truck. He didn’t
know where to go, but he moved on. He didn’t know why he stole the notepad and
a pen, but he kept them anyway. It reminded him of his mother’s death which he wasn’t
aware of. While he rested silently in the back of the truck, the co-passengers tried
to strike a conversation with this lad and he didn’t speak a word. He just held
the notepad in his hands, staring at it with all the questions in his mind.
What
should I write in this? What should I do with this?
He wondered.
The companions in the truck noticed
his foiled leather notepad and snatched it from his hands, just to play around.
When they read the content, everyone started smiling at the boy. Including few
of the buxom ladies, ready to base their paunches on the boy these bunch of
people were spellbound in some way.
What’s
wrong with these people? Amar looked
startled.
He quickly got out of the truck and
grabbed the notepad. He held on tight to the notepad and took a deep breath
again.
1960
“Now what!” his father exclaimed
while driving his truck. “Are you done peeing on the highway?”
“Get in quickly or we both will be
jailed” his father sounded perturbed.
Amar quickly scanned the truck to
confirm his mother was still alive and hopped into the front seat. For a
moment, Amar felt the moment of déjà vu when his father uttered, we both will be jailed and he remembered
the prison.
“How far is jail from here Paa?” Amar
sounded very much interested.
“Why do you ask Amar?” his father
asked with a baffled tone. “Did you have any of those prison dreams again?”
“What???” Amar was awestruck. “Was it
a dream?”
Amar rolled back in his seat and
closed his eyes tightly again. He tried to visualize the imagery of the prison,
but all he got was raw broken footages of an unsettled barn covered in a
puddle. He again tried to visualize the fat ladies groping over him for his
strange notepad.
THUD!
His father slapped him. “You are getting late for your exams.” He said with an
alarming tone.
When
did I start studying? Amar seemed to be
surprised.
His father dropped him at his school
and that was when Amar was able to connect all the dots. The school looked just
like the prison he dreamt of, and the silent skinny inspector was his
headmaster who hit him everyday for not completing his homework.
Amar got down from the truck, entered
the school and went invisible. Nobody was able to see him. After sometime, the
headmaster was found dead and Amar was still in the exile. While the whole city
went gaga over the death of the future politician, Amar lost himself in the
commotion. He realized that he’s no longer important, he stepped out of his
classroom and rushed towards the bus station. His father stood there at the
entrance, waiting for Amar. He slowly murmured in Amar’s ears,
“How many times do you have to kill
the same old headmaster?”
Amar realized that he was stuck in an
inevitable time loop. He saw the same things, did the same things and dreamt of
same things time and time again. He was a prisoner of time. And he tried to
steal the lost moments in life and relive them again and again.
The chronophobic mother was admitted
to asylum for talking to her dead son 10 years ago.
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