Sunday, January 27, 2013
Breathing Solitude: With transparent inspirations
I celebrated my New Year in a bus while I was coming to Mumbai to live my dream. This time I had clearly convinced myself that no matter what happens at work, I will recollect my bones and get back up from the dead. I’d over-confidently taken a local mobile number and a local train monthly pass last time when I was in Mumbai, but that didn’t go well, although my luck had a validity of 30 days. I’d lost my focus and almost wandered off-track to settle into a premature tomb. Well, as they say, everything happens for a reason and this was no accident either.
My New Year clinically began in Mumbai and it has been great till date. Going back in time, one week ago, I’d come to Mumbai for an interview and I somehow got selected. I was lucky enough to get a place to stay which was just a mile away from my workplace. I was very happy about it because I had a pathway of heaven laid ahead of me for breakfast every morning. I almost ran out of options and ended up stuffing myself with a sample of everything in the first week. I had no complaints with work whatsoever, but making friends there was really a challenge for me. I was a grown-up rookie in advertising and my team was filled with superstars. I didn’t feel bad that I’d a pathetic proof-reading ability, but I felt really at ease with so many people to correct me at every stage wherever I went wrong. The only problem was going back home after work. I really didn’t have anything great to do apart from sleeping and getting fresh. After a week or two, I was totally into writing headlines, thinking copy, and dreaming ideas. Well, my PJ’s really helped me make friends and in future they’ll surely help in making few bloodthirsty enemies too.
I was super-excited that I was in Mumbai; every weekend would be so great meeting friends, relatives, but I indeed was expecting too much from too many of them. This is a very busy city that never sleeps and I completely understand that everyone have their priorities set. I can still barge in shamelessly anytime in anyone’s place, because I believe they won’t mind. The only worry is whether I’ll find someone opening the door or will I find them locked? It is rather too early to tell how good or bad the place and its people are. I surely count myself as one among them, but will the city accept me as it has accepted every other person who has come in with a dream to live his life? The question still needs to be answered and only time will be able to give that to me. Whether will I be able to survive the realities or I’ll have to make a bigger space for my dreams and live with them all by myself? Until I get the answers, I will live with the fact that I am not a perfect success hunting creature, but rather a happiness hunting creature.
I’ve made few mistakes, but my close friend once said, ‘Mumbai mein rehna hai to kamina banna padega. Yahan seedhe logon ko tedha karte hain, aur tedhe ko todte hain.’ I will now try my best to be a proper ‘Mumbai ka kamina’ and survive as long as I am let to live. The journey from a poet to lover-boy was instant, but joker to kamina will be very difficult one. Many friends have loved me, left me and I’ve reciprocated too. Staying alone will never hurt me, missing my old friends won’t bother me, losing the loved one’s doesn’t matter anymore, because what I am today is the result of my reflection of emotions. The battle between the right and the left hemisphere in my brain always ends abruptly. The wait for the winner would definitely bring more pain to my already inflicted brain and I am really not in a hurry for getting an inglorious haemorrhage anyway.